Ehh...tired...I feel exhausted over the last week or so. Just so much going on. Tonight, I will be making my return to ministry and the stage that put me there. Tonight I will get to speak for the first time in 3 years and I'm so stoked that I think I might just pee my pants. Well, not really, but something like that. I've been so wrapped up in studying and reading lately, but I still for some reason don't feel prepared enough. Its funny because its not even like a sermon or anything, its just our weekly youth talk. We're about to start some exciting things at New Life Fellowship. We're going BIG for Jesus. Looking forward to it. But you know what really chaps me at the moment. Haters. Yeah. Some people who like to judge but yet complain about thinking that they are being judged. I for one, cannot judge anyone. And I never will. Who am I to judge anyone? I'm no better than the guy down the street with the needle in his arm. I may strive to live a better life and more abundant lifestyle, but when it comes to sin, we're all in the same boat. And something else...those that choose to distance themselves from me because of my renewed faith. What are you scared of? So what if you're not like me...I don't want you to be like me. Are you afraid that I might try and shove some Jesus on you, or are you afraid that God's light might actually just by chance rub off on you? I'm no different than you. Yeah, I love my God, and I love Jesus, but does that make me any less human? No. "Salvation carries a cost we must prevail-death creeps like the breeze but have no fear watch me inhale!" Project 86
Hope you like the new feature of what I'm listening to at the moment....might be some insight to how I'm feeling.
Thursday was a fantasitic day. It was so different and great. Started off with a bang. I gotta call Thursday morning from our Small Group Pastor, Frank. There have been some things going on in our youth group at church recently and its been a little rough. But its time for a shake up. A prayer and a cry was answered Thursday when Frank called and asked if I was still interested in helping out the youth group. I said "sure...yeah." So then he asked if becoming the new Student Pastor at New Life Fellowship would be suffient.....wow...I was like "uhhh....heck yeah!" See, actually I was offered this position before, but I said no. I said that I'd rather just be there as an advisor to help out. God has really been doing some work in me the last few weeks. I've decided that I'm gonna stop running from what God has called me to do....ministry. For those that don't know, I spent 6 years of my life as a youth pastor. I started when I was 18 here in knoxville and continued to Texas and then on to Phoenix AZ where it ended, amongst other things. I haven't been in ministry since then. I've been more concerned with running from what God had called me for. When I was 18, I heard his call, and I answered yes to it. Once you say yes to God, he gets what he needs out of you no matter what your plans are. Proverbs 16: 9...."In his heart a man plans his course, but God determines his steps." Yip. I spent too much time being Jonah. So here I am in Nineveh. I'm excited....I'm scared....but I'm totally confident. It feels good to be back in God's service. After this great news, I headed down to Lee U to see Brit. What a great time. She's so amazing. We spent a lot of time just hanging outside on the lawn enjoying each other and the beautiful weather. I was there till about 1 am and just had a blast. I got to meet all of her friends which I found to be fun and interesting. Hey Sarah....is it ok if I touch Brit every now and then? haha Good times. I look forward to hopefully developing friendships with them as well as Brit getting to know my friends. It'll be great. So anywho, it was just a great experience. We got to pray together, which was absolutley awesome. Things are moving, God is moving. I'm looking forward to the next time I get to see her smiling face and her beautiful blue eyes looking into mine. Its sick...I know...leave me alone. So this Sunday, me, Billy, my brother, Matt, Brit, and hopefully lots of her friends are going out to the Fathom in Chatt to check out Disciple play another rocking show. I gave Brit a copy of some of their songs and she loved it....thats awesome and means a lot that she likes them. I'm so looking forward to creating some positive energy and getting some MAJOR Jesus on that night. They rock my socks off! I'll keep you posted. Glory to God for blessing me beyond belief. I'm thankful, hopeful, and in state of bliss...all honor to God.
The last few days have been amazing in so many different ways. God has been working through me and in me in ways that I never knew possible. There was a time when I felt lost and unconnected to what God had in store for me and I felt like because I was out of his will, that I would never experience these blessings. Not only do I feel connected now, but I feel like once again I"m part of his plan....his unyielding will. I've spent so much of the past few years running from what God has planned for me, but I'm done running. I had no reason to run. I felt unworthy of his grace and undeserving of his forgiveness at times. 2 Corinthians 2: 8...."I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him." Wow...thanks be to God...he says in 2 Corin. 12:9..." But he said to me ' My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' " Thats me right there. God's grace was always sufficient for me and it became more powerful the weaker I felt. Here's the clincher for me...Ephesians 2: 4-5..." But [u]because[/u] of his love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions-it is by GRACE you have been saved." By grace....by God. What else do I need? Nothing...grace is enough. So here I am...back again, and watch out....I just ordered two large pizza's loaded with Jesus...and thats just for myself. Also, this time I have a partner. Brittany's gonna right by my side the whole time. Her and I are connected metally, physically, and most important...spiritually. There's no stopping that. Her encouragement, accountability, and zeal is exactly what my heart has been missing. She's the missing piece of the 'Kwon.' Yeah, that's right...the Kwon. She's the one who's filled my void left by those that took advantage of my kindness. That cut me deeply and left me to bleed. There's no more bleeding. There's no more pain. Jesus took all that, healed me, then said...." here you go Justyn, its time you met the one that completes you." I can't wait to see what God has in store for us. I've never been so connected to anyone in everyway. Praise God for one of the greatest blessings he's ever trusted me with....Brittany.
Righty-O! So I've been a bit on the quiet side the last few days. Not becasue I've had nothing to say, but maybe because I've had TOO much to say. Neverless, I'm here now to proclaim several truths. One....I love Jesus. Savior, King, Almighty, Redeemer, Jehova, Friend, Jah.....MY Lord. From the lyrics of a song by Disciple...."God is good...He's so good...He's so..FREAKIN AWESOME! Draw close to Him, He draws close to me, never change, the sand of the same, placed in me a redemption song and at His weakest He's still strong! My daddy can whip your daddy!" hahaha I love it. The beauty of God's grace adorns my soul these days. Last night it was brought to my attention that there was a time when I was angry, jaded, and dark. Yes, this true. Had to be one of the darkest times in my life. I had exited the light to enter the darkness....away from God there is no light. My life had not refelected Christ at times. But I'm here today to make public that I'm a sinner like everyone else. I fall short of God's glory every single day from the time I wake up till the time I fall to sleep. But I have hope...I have faith. I believe. I believe that Christ has come to redeem me, us, from all our sins. He's brought me from the ashes to the earth to live again...but to live for Him. There's nothing new to these statements for me. I've been here before...my life for most part has been to reflect Christ. My time away from Him was dark, cold and deadly. No more. About a month and a half ago, God smacked me in the face....grabbed me by the hair and said "Stop running. You can't hide anymore...I won't let you." What do you say to that? haha Nothing...you do as the man tells you. I love Jesus...and I thank God for saving me. What a wonderful reason to live. Now, something else I've held back on....I've not said anything really as of yet about this on here because I really didn't know where things were going and I didn't want to jump the gun. I don't think there's a gun to jump anymore. Brittany Nicole Henson is the most amazing woman alive. Yeah. A bold statement. I've known Brit for awhile and we've talked, but not the way we've talked the last week. Deep, stimulating conversation has intrigued my mind. We've shared with each other things that not many other know about us. And we share it with ease and comfort. Not only that, but we share the most important thing of all...the love of Christ. She has a passion that is unmatched and it spreads to me like wild fire. Her enthusiasm and zeal would make the dullest man run a marathon. She's beautiful in so many ways and I want everyone that reads this to know that. She's intelligent, so freakin funny, caring, loving, beautiful...she has the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen in my life. If I'm not talking to her, I'm thinking about her. If I'm not thinking about her....wait...I'm constantly thinking about her. She puts joy in my heart. The last few nights, something amazing has taken place...something I've never experienced in this way. Her and I have prayed together. Last night when we finished, I had the biggest smile on my face and all I could do was laugh uncontrollably. I was so happy. Almost overjoyed to the point of tears later after I got off the phone. I don't know what God has in store for us, but I do know that its gonna be amazing. I know in my heart what I'd like to see happen with us, but I must wait on God. I'll just say it.....I hope that we become this sick couple that makes people green with envy....one that makes people go..."I wanna be like Justyn and Brittany one day." Again...bold, but I'm full of bold statements here lately. Jesus knows what He's doing here....hold on...its gonna get crazy.
Ever have one of those days when you sing every song on the radio, and it all sounds good in your ear? For whatever reason, you know every word. Today is one of those days for me. Its such a beautiful day too. Today....today will be great. Not overlooking my great mood, I am however in a query. For a few days now, I've had something on my mind. My dad has been given an offer to take a promotion as vice pres of the company he works. Thats great, but this would require him and my family moving to Connecticut. Wow...yeah. I've got some mixed feelings about all this. For one, both of my brothers will be going with them. Jarrett who is soon to be 16, doesn't really wanna go, but has said he will because he wants to be with the family. He has the option of staying with my grandparents to finish HS here, but he'll go. Jonathan, who is 23, has said that he will move with them. Thats a bit of a shock. So here I am. I'm not moving. I refuse to. They've not asked me, but have expressed that they would want me to go. Chattanooga, Nashville, something like that...maybe. Connecticut...not so much. So if they go, I'll be staying. I'm just a little sad I guess. I love my family so much and I can't imagine them moving away from me and where we all grew up. Dad's not made a decision yet, but I know he wants this job. The thing is, 3 yrs ago, I moved back from Arizona in order to be with my family. I could've went anywhere, including LA with Russ..but I chose to come home. I wanted to be there for my brothers....I wanted to see Jarrett grow and become a man. I wanted to be lazy on my parents house boat. So now what if they go? I'll be here...not quite alone, I'll have my friends and my grandparents, but my family will be 800 miles away. Ahhhhh! (courtesy of Brittany) It will be a week or two before a decision is made, but till then I'll be praying for God's will. I want what ever it is that will be good for the family...and only God knows what that really is. I'll keep you posted. My prayer for the day is this...Psalms 25: 20-21....Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me because my hope is in You.
Shout out to my nizzle, also to Brittany for being so great and amazing, and to Kandi...I hope you have better weekend than you did week.
Alright, where do I start. Several things come to mind this morning. I had a great time talking to Brit last night..an amazing woman with a fire for the Lord that I've not seen amongst others in so long. Not only that, but she's freakin hilarious...lots of fun. I look forward to talking to her much more and growing from her enthusiasm. Secondly, I had such a great time at bible study last night. Nothing profound was taught, but we heard a cd from a guy named Rob Bell. He basically talked about how Jesus picked his disciples from the JV team...the last ones picked in gym class. Unlike Jewish custom, which picked the rabbi's from the best of the best of the best. God used the freshmen squad to change the world. Sounds familiar and hopeful at the same time. Before study, I was in youth group helping out. That was a great time as well. God is doing some amazing things there. Given my past experience as a student minister, I figured it's time to stop running from God and do what I know I've been called to do....serve. He's brought me to my Nineveh. I'm excited, but scared at the same time. Its a familiar path but a new door. Should get interesting. Brit posted a verse that really spoke to me this morning and I'll use it as my prayer today...Psalm 25: 4-5...." Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Wow...thanks Brit for the food...more to come....
So here lately, I've spent a great deal of time listening to music...imagine that...me listen to music. I've been hearing a lot of Live, Story of the Year, and Caedmon's Call...oh and Matt Nathanson. I think each one represents a different side of me. I'm feeling a lyrical build up. I don't know if it'll be in verse or song...but its coming I think. I've really got a lot on my mind, but the thoughts are so scattered right now, I don't know where to start. Spiritually, romanticlly, personal....a little bit of everything I guess. I've been thinking way too much...I need to play less guitar and maybe more playstation lol. A quick shout out to Angie...my nizzle...Kandi...keep your head up...Mary...you rock...and Brit....wow.
Here are some of my favorite quotes. Some are from songs, movies and others have been said by friends or others. Hope you enjoy!
"We're going streaking!" - Will Ferrell, Old School
"Once it hits your lips...its just so good!" - Will Ferrell, Old School
"Yo! I gots ta gets me some sex tonight!" -Seth Green, Can't Hardly Wait
"Everything's ok till you decide to take the early flight home from San Diego and two naked people jump out of your bathroom like a fucking magic show...." - Luke Wilson, Old School
"I'm Rick James Bitch!" - Dave Chappell
"You might of heard of me" - me
"Well, isn't that just a geographical odditty...2 weeks from everywhere!" - George Clooney, O Brother
" Now is you is, or is you aints my constituants?" O Brother
"Throw me a frekin bone Scott...I'm the boss...need the in-fo" Dr. Evil, Austin Powers
"Dr. said I need a back-e-otome...He had sex with my mama...why!! I'm impetent..get away from me bitch!" Sir Smokes A-Lot, Half Baked
"No woman, no cry" Bob Marley
"Does he look like me, because they all look an awful like you" Matt Nathanson
"The power of the riff compels me!" Phil Anselmo, Down
"Everything you say to me, puts me one step closer to the edge and I'm about to Break!" Linkin Park
The weekend is finally here...seems like this week was longer than last. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do, but at least I have the freedom to just do whatever. I'll hang with my brothers and Billy of course. Oh, I forgot....Billy's son is coming for a visit, his mom is bringing him down. This will be the first time I've seen him. Looking forward to that. Also, SuperJoint Ritual will be playing here in Knoxville on Sunday, so I'll be there for that. Can't miss out on my hero Phil Anslemo. Should be rocking. I'll have to hang with Tobee while I"m out there....I actually think we'll hang on Saturday...thats always interesting. I'll let you know how it goes
